Restroom Adventure
by Name On The Spine
Summary: NOT a cliched- shopping trip-fic, but Akito and Hatori go shopping, and . . . well, interesting things happen. I thought it was funny. Answers a fairly important question. K for kute, and TWS should stop writing such Krappy fics.


**I don't own Fruba, the bathroom of supermarkets or anything else mentioned. For those who've read "Poor Logic" similar question-and-answer type thing. Only, instead of "How does Light change his shirt?", it's "Which public restroom does Akito use?" I don't know why I asked, but this may or may not contain spoilers. Or confusion. I also don't think I will ever be happy with the ending... So concrit is nice.  
**

Akito was, usually, a homebody.

Akito disliked leaving, partly because of his health, and largely because when he truly thought about it, he really didn't have a place to go to.

However, this was quickly changed when Hatori decided fresh air and companionship would "do him some good".

In short, what Akito had to do was...

Oh, dear. This would be harder than Akito had originally thought. He could barely even think this. Perhaps . . . find friends? Or, maybe, spend extended periods of time with his Zodiac?

Oh, _no_. Absolutely not. Maybe he could tag along while people went on errands? He reasoned doing something constructive would make this entire ordeal less painful. He prepared himself for the real world. It was less harsh than he had imagined. Or, he had thought so.

Akito stared at the two doors in turn, with eyes flicking between them.

"Oh, crap," he muttered.

This was all Hatori's fault.

_Hatori_ said he could use some air. _Hatori_ said it was safe. _Hatori_ suggested that Akito, maybe, accompany him when he ran his errands. _Hatori_ bought him the water bottle.

Totally Hatori's fault. Damn that dragon.

"Hatori!" Akito whined in a loud voice, making mothers in nearby isles of the supermarket smirk, thinking of their own, slightly bratty, children, their food store whining and why said children no longer accompanied their parents grocery shopping trips. They walked off, irritated at the memories, away from the noise in case of a tantrum.

"Yes, Akito?" Hatori replied, his voice jaded. He turned the corner, a small, rather feminine, bin hanging from his elbow.

Akito pointed to the definitively marked doors. "Which do I use?"

Hatori looked at Akito, then to the first door, the second, then back to Akito.

"You're joking, right?"

Akito glared in response for a moment, then said, "Why would I joke? I honestly don't know! How am I supposed to know, if I'm rarely healthy enough for an outing?"

Hatori sighed, containing his annoyance. "Okay, Akito, okay. Please keep calm. Are you a man?"

"Yes." Akito answered.

Hatori twitched, knowing for a fact that was untrue.

"Which one is labeled for men?"

Akito pointed solemnly toward the one with the blocked figure with a man on the plate.

"What's the dilemma?" Hatori asked, although, as a doctor, he knew.

Akito looked down for a moment, then back up with a deep scowl. "I don't need to explain myself. I'll be going n-" He had begun to walk towards the one he specified, when he was cut off.

"Oh, no. That one." Hatori said, gently touching Akito's shoulder, stopping him from walking and nudging him to the other door.

"What? Why? Stop touching me!" Akito all but shrieked, attracting a lot of attention. Hatori released the shoulder.

"Akito. You use the other one." He said, distinctly yet quietly. They were drawing too much attention for his comfort, and the stares were beginning to make him uneasy.

Akito blinked. Perhaps one of them didn't understand? "But, as a man-"

"You're a female." Hatori stated flatly.

"I. Am. A. Man," Akito said, eyes narrowing, hand winding back for slapping.

Hatori lowered his head into his hand, resting his forehead. This conversation was becoming hurtfully informal.

"You may identify as a man, but you're, technically-"

And, Hatori was slapped.

"I'll be back." Akito hissed, turned on "his" heel, and strutted into the men's room.

Hatori sighed, and said to no one, but merely for the record: "I warned her."

From inside the fairly thin walls, could be heard:

"Hey, is that a chick?"

"What the hell?"

"That is a man . . . right?"

"Hey! Cross-dressers in the women's room!"

There was the heavy thwack of a sickly person being forcibly removed from the men's room, and Akito walked, with far too much dignity, up to Hatori.

"Why can't I just use the men's room in peace?" Akito asked.

"Because," Hatori began, deciding to use flattery, "You're a very attractive lady."

Akito smiled softly, but it was a poisonous smile. Despite being angry, he thought to at least give the women's room a try. If he had such an attractive woman, after all…"Thank you. I think I'll use the women's room, then . . ."

Akito strolled into the room.

Hatori sighed, and moved to scope out the machines where you inserted change, and received candy. After receiving a handful of cherry flavored sugar, he paused to wait.

Moments later, the shock of the ladies' lavatory could be heard through the walls.

"A man!"

"Get out!"

"Pervert!"

Hatori rested his aching head against the wall, his peripheral vision taking in the sight of Akito being pushed, forcefully from the lady's room.

Of course.

"Can't you just use the one at home?" Hatori asked, simply thinking aloud.

Akito turned to look at him. "Are you done with your errands?"

"Yes," Hatori lied.

"Then why have we even bothered this? Honestly, Hatori, this has been needlessly painful," Akito said, shaking his head.

Yet, before they could peacefully leave, a deeply offended woman followed by a gangly security guard walked up to them.

"Are you the pervert?" he asked Hatori, his voice strangely steely.

"No, but we'll be leaving now." Hatori answered, attempting to drag Akito with his mind.

Luckily, Akito followed quietly. Yet, the guard's expression would be dubbed "embarrassing, yet amusing" in later telling of this story, when Hatori stage-whispered violently, "Next time, you pee before we leave home!"


End file.
